Do you or someone you know consider NOT having children because of how uncertain the future looks? Or maybe you think the world is a cruel place, and you would rather spare them from experiencing all the bad and evil that abounds? 

If so, whether you decide to have children or not is, of course, entirely your prerogative. After all, we live in an era marked by global challenges and fears, and it is understandable to want to spare them from the pain, sorrow and uncertainty that this world might present. 

However, when examining this decision from a biblical perspective, we find that choosing not to have children solely based on uncertainty or fear is misguided, and rather a missed opportunity to experience the blessings and hope that God provides. In this article I will explain why. 

God’s Book Of Days

Psalm 139:16 says that God saw my unformed substance before I was born, and that all the days of my life were already written in God’s book, even before I started to live them out. This means each person exists already (at least in God’s mind) outside of time. This also means God has a plan and purpose for each of us, which we should begin to live out once we come into this world through conception. 

We see an example of this in Jeremiah 1:5, when God said to Jeremiah that He knew Jeremiah even before He formed him in the womb. 

From Scripture it is clear: God already knew us, and God already had a plan for us, even before we were born. 

If you choose to not have children because you want to spare them from an uncertain future, you need to realise you are only abdicating from the responsibility of raising them. 

You cannot prevent the existence of someone by your own decision. You also cannot save or spare someone from the heartache and pain of this world, by deciding not to have children. If God already has a plan for us even before we are born, He will merely give the children you were meant to have, to someone else, should you choose not to have any children of your own. 

You could of course terminate the life of an unborn child by means of abortion, should they already be in the womb, but that is a different matter.

By choosing not to have children, all we are doing is missing the opportunity to raise them ourselves instead. 

You Have Been Given Seed

Secondly, consider that God has given you seed, or the ability to receive seed and to make it grow. 

If you are married but choose not to have children, all you will end up with is blocked or wasted seed in exchange for temporal pleasure… trading sexual gratification for seed that yields nothing to show for it. 

In Matthew 25:14-30 we read about the master who was leaving his house to travel. Before leaving, he entrusted his property to his servants, and gave them talents (or money) to trade or deal with, each according to his ability. In the end, those who did well with what they were entrusted with, were rewarded. However, the servant who was afraid and hid his money instead of doing something good with it, was punished. 

While I am not saying any person will be punished if they choose not to have children, it is important to see the resemblance between those who were entrusted with money and the responsibility to trade or work with it to make it grow, and us who receive seed from God which is meant for multiplication as well. 

Your seed (or the ability to receive seed) is precious, and we miss out on God’s blessings by choosing not to let it bear fruit.

Look at what Matthew 25:29 says, “For to everyone who has [and values his blessings and gifts from God, and has used them wisely], more will be given, and [he will be richly supplied so that] he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have [because he has ignored or disregarded his blessings and gifts from God], even what he does have will be taken away.”

Psalm 127:3 declares that children are a heritage from the LORD, and offspring a reward from Him. They are a sign of His favour and a source of joy in our lives. By refusing to have children based on uncertainty, we may unintentionally overlook the blessings that God desires to bestow upon us through the gift of parenthood. 

Choosing not to have children out of fear for the future also implies a lack of trust in God’s ability to provide for the future generations, disregarding His promise to sustain us. 

Trusting God Instead

Hebrews 10:23 assures us, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” 

As believers, our confidence rests not in the certainty of the future but in the faithfulness of God. 

By embracing parenthood, we display trust in His promises as we commit to raise children who will be equipped to face an uncertain world when they are rooted in Christ. 

Besides, consider that the child you bring into this world might be the one who will change the future which you fear. 

Psalm 127:4-5 states that children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior, and that the man whose quiver is full of them are blessed. 

This imagery illustrates that children are not only a blessing to their parents, but also an instrument in God’s hands to bring about His purposes in the world. 

By raising godly children, we have the opportunity to influence future generations positively and shape a better future, regardless of present uncertainties. 

Dealing With Your Own Trauma

I fully understand that there is pain, trauma and uncertainties in this world which we do not wish for our children. After all, 2 Corinthians 4:4 says that (for now) Satan is the god of this world. Evil abounds. However, part of God’s purpose for the believer is to overcome the evils of this world, and to help make it a better place instead. 

When we find that the world offers too much pain and uncertainty to bring children into it, we need to look at ourselves and recognise where our own trauma and pain lies. We should then face our pain and trauma, and deal with it effectively, so we can have the courage and boldness to raise godly children. 

If you would like to learn how to deal with trauma and pain, then read “How To Deal With Trauma And Emotional Pain, Effectively”.

I would also recommend reading “The Real Reason Why Job Suffered (No One Talks About This)”.